Dear bibliophiles, good day.
Special Zoobibliological Surveillance Service — General Inspectorate of the Printed Book (IGLI)
By Doctor Fulbert de Cuirac, sworn veterinarian of printed entities, expert to the Bureau of Abnormal Manifestations of the Book, commissioned for owner-adhesion disorders and heraldic-bibliological rejection phenomena.
The service received a written declaration, made spontaneously, in the margin of a fable that M. Philibert Cramoisi published on Facebook. It is reproduced here in full, without correction or cut:
“I keep up, with application, in a little Exacompta notebook, the exact count of all the books I do not buy. And well, imagine, Monsieur Cramoisi, that for the year 2026 alone I have bought only 10 and let 1795 get away. Which makes exactly 1795 regrets.”
— Thierry B., 26 August 2026.
M. Cramoisi forwarded the item to the service, rightly judging that it belonged less to fable than to clinical practice.
Mlle Lépine having copied the item into the register, the service examined its terms. Four call for comment.
“with application” — the subject himself qualifies his diligence, and qualifies it favorably. He does not report a failing: he reports a bearing. The service stresses the complete absence of shame, the usual marker of settled forms.
“a little Exacompta notebook” — the precision of the brand is deliberate. The subject did not take a diary, nor a notebook, nor one of those Moleskine notebooks in which amateurs record their desires. He took a trade ledger, ruled in columns. He does not confide. He keeps the accounts.
“let get away” — hunting vocabulary. The verb supposes that the quarry was within reach, that it moved, and that it left. The service observes that the subject does not say given up on, or set aside, or judged too expensive: he describes 1,795 escapes.
“exactly 1795 regrets” — this is where the declaration tips over. The subject no longer counts books, he counts regrets.
Observations. Over the 239 days elapsed of the 2026 financial year: volumes acquired, 10; volumes let get away, 1,795; total volumes examined, 1,805.
The rate of renunciation stands at 7.5 volumes a day, Sundays included. The residual half-volume has been carried to the account of the odd volumes.
The acquisition ratio is 1 to 179.5. The service knows of no living collection in the département with a rejection rate of that height; the books would not survive in it. That is precisely what held our attention.
Mlle Lépine raised, with the firmness for which she is known, an objection of procedure.
The register of entries admits only entities furnished with a shelfmark. Now the 1,795 volumes of the notebook have entered no collection, have received no bookplate, and have been the object of no owner adhesion. They have neither spine, nor shelf, nor owner. They fall under no jurisdiction known to the service. This library of regrets is a non-library.
After examination, the Bureau rules as follows.
A book that is regretted, dated, numbered and carried in a column exists sufficiently to fall under our jurisdiction. These entities will be classed under the denomination libri praetermissi — the volumes passed over — and will open a separate series in the register. The shelfmark will be assigned to them without any indication of location, the box remaining empty.
Mlle Lépine signed, adding in pencil in the margin that she carried it out but did not share it. The service places the note on file.
Diagnosis. Neurosis bibliocomputatrix privativa — privative computational neurosis, benign form, slow course.
Not to be confused with ordinary bibliomania, of which it is the exact reverse. The bibliomaniac accumulates what he owns and ruins himself. The subject accumulates what he does not own and spends nothing. His non-library counts 1,795 volumes that he does not have.
Sub-Inspector Peutre, in charge of the on-site report, points out that this is to date the only collection in the département posing no conservation problem: no dust, no acidification, no foxing, no worms, no humidity-control requirement, no shelving, no disputed estate. The service acknowledges the remark as exact and judges it misplaced.
Prognosis and recommendations. The prognosis is favorable, subject to the following reservations.
1. The notebook will be maintained. The service warns against any well-meant attempt by the subject’s circle to do away with it: the uncounted regret does not disappear.
2. The subject Thierry B. is prescribed to acquire, within 6 months, 1 volume drawn at random from those he has let get away, and to record its effect. The service wishes to determine whether possession relieves or aggravates. It inclines toward aggravation.
3. At the observed rate, the pagination of the Exacompta will be exhausted before the winter of 2031. The service recommends opening a second volume now and having it bound in calf, so that the collection of the absent has at least a spine.
VISA
Dr. Fulbert de Cuirac, sworn veterinarian of printed entities — examination and diagnosis
Mlle Berthe Lépine, at the register — subject to the reservation entered in the margin
Sub-Inspector Achille Peutre — on-site report and verification of the columns
For the Guild of Bibliopolices.
Shelfmark: IGLI/SSSZ/CI/[N] — Libri praetermissi
Document classified: restricted circulation — Guild IGLI.
Reproduction discouraged on gummed paper unless necessary.
Si cette chronique vous a plu : recevez trois nouvelles par semaine — livres rares, reliures, enchères, et les Dossiers IGLI. 18 ans d'archives, quelques milliers de lecteurs.
Pas de pub, pas de revente de données. Désabonnement en un clic.
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